As of late, I have discovered what I believe at this time, to be the best self defense ammo for pistol calibers .380 - .45 acp. Lehigh Defense's line of ammo. Their Extreme Defender is impressive, and Controlled Fracturing, Maximum Expansion, and Extreme Penetration variations are all equally impressive to say the least. Both lehighdefense.com and underwood.com offer what I consider the best ammo created. Hope you give it a try, albeit, a very pricey load, but I believe you're worth it.The most important thing for a bullet to do is to STOP the threat. Fast and light weight bullets do not do that very well.
Stick with the "best ammo" as found on this site.